Punishment Athletics

Mike Freeman Rebuttal: Mad Lib for Sportswriters

by: DarthMolen 4

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This is what the Liddell-Rampage fight, one of the most important events in recent sports history, really means: It’s just another event that will make millions for MMA.

MMA is absolutely flourishing, and in some ways the largest help-meet to it’s rise is its greatest competitor—the worst sport ever invented, boxing. Which means it is relevant vs. inane, Halle Berry vs. Roseanne Barr, true sport against the mosh pit of sweat and lifetime mini concussions know as boxing.

It’s up to Liddell and Rampage to make another million for the growing sensation and true sport which is MMA.

Liddell and Rampage can single-handedly destroy a deteriorating sport while simultaneously showing that only standing on your feet and punching a person in the head repeatedly is for barbarians, and polluting pay-per-view with boxing’s brand of low-brow, ghetto-fabulous hooliganism is nigh to Nero pulling the baby out of his sister’s womb just for kicks.

This is it. This is when MMA emerges as the victor with common monthly cards like Liddell vs. Rampage, Cro-Cop vs. Gonzaga, Ortiz vs. Liddell, Couture vs. Silvia and finally strikes a blow to the roped-ring ignorance that is boxing.

It will happen.

In the coming days, you will read foofs who will say MMA can never survive, despite being sanctioned in all 50 states and being the #1 most popular and growing sport in America. You will attempt to stomach the dopey ramblings of our good pal Mike Freeman, otherwise known as Captain Dopey Sensationalist, downplaying this grand moment in history where MMA comes out victor. He’s probably another boxing apologist as well.

Boxing will never be as good as MMA on its worst day. Many of the boxers are nothing but thugs and ruffians. All that boxing has done is take a few former nightclub bouncers, knuckle crackers and parolees, put on some fancy TV graphics and told them, “Hit the other guy in the head, repeatedly until he has a stroke.”

No skill is required to bite somebody’s ear off (and it happens despite rules stating it is illegal). I’m biting off Mike Freeman’s ear right now. See, was that difficult?

Next on “Versus”: Boxing actually finds somebody who wants to pay for their drivel. Then some dork will call it a sport again.

Boxing has no credibility. IBC is root beer, not a boxing league.

And please do not wax poetic about the Boxings history. Of course people have been bludgeoning other people in the head for centuries. Thats why the call it human cockfighting. It appeals to the lowest common denominator of human existence.

The message boards and my e-mail will be irradiated with balderdash about how the mainstream media is simply a bunch of snobs and we don’t pay enough tribute to boxing. I love the NFL. Only Roman gladiators had a more dangerous sporting profession than boxing. The NFL is more violent than the Boxing, but football at least possesses a veneer of being civilized.

Boxing is almost comically imperfect. It is full of crooks, con artists and ear biters (and that’s just a weekend in Atlantic City with Mike Tyson). Because of its faults and the contributing factors of massive greed that has caused boxing to collapse on itself like a dying sun, MMA has risen to power with the pure sports of Jiu-Jitsu, Muy Thai, and wrestling as its main vehicle.

No Boxing goon has or ever will possess the grace and natural showmanship of Liddell in full roar or the true fearsome fighting skills of Matt Hughes.

Notice the word: skills. Liddell vs. Rampage will not resemble a bar-room brawl but meticulous, highly practiced, man-to-man warfare between two skilled, all-time athletes.

It is only a matter of time before the boxing suckers, er, fans realize they have been fooled by a Jedi mind trick.

The alphabet soup which is boxing federations should be banned; MMA as a whole should be embraced.

The fact a non-championship light-heavyweight match between old rivals is getting so much attention shows that MMA is here to stay (Despite what Mike Freeman says). The fact that boxing has tanked because of so many scandals and crooked promoters demonstrates it’s flawed business model.

“This (fight) isn’t that important but I’m here to entertain the masses, show my skills as an all-around fighter, and prove that MMA is relevant,” Liddell told the New York Post. “MMA is always taking these low blows left and right from people. This will just prove them wrong yet again.”

The fight can do more than that. It can prove that MMA is an American sports to the masses. If the fight is particularly competitive, casual fans will flock to the banner sportswriters will have no recourse but to shut-up and acknowledge their incompetence when it comes to identifying a true sport

Then maybe we can begin to put the sad joke that is boxing behind us.

And once again we can get excited about a real sport.

see this column
*Sarcasm off*

Comments

SEE!?!?!? Look at Me. Look at Me!

I can write sensational stuff too.

Posted by  on  05/03  at  08:05 AM

Even if it isn’t my viewpoint, someone might say, you have only accomplished becoming just like Freeman. A guy who has lost jobs, because he lied in claiming education degrees he never earned, and who some say, only has a column because of his race and a search for diversity. He is know for generating controversy interest.

Not unlike a well know blond female celebrity who is famous for being famous.

Posted by  on  05/03  at  10:53 AM

Heh. This one is done tongue in cheek. I’m just showing that it’s not that hard to make a sensational column about anything. Just fill in the blanks.

Posted by  on  05/03  at  11:32 AM

Yep, I saw the “*Sarcasm off*”.

I guess I didn’t make my point very well so I will try to do so one last time before I let the subject go.

Taking Freeman seriously is like wrestling with a pig. You will just get dirty and the pig likes it.

:coolsmirk:

Posted by  on  05/03  at  12:17 PM
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